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Lettre À La Fille Qui A Survécu Aux Violences D’un Narcissique

Lettre À La Fille Qui A Survécu Aux Violences D’un Narcissique

Vous avez vécu des moments difficiles. En fait, “ moments difficiles ” est un véritable euphémisme. Vous avez vécu l’enfer. Ce que vous avez vécu peut réellement être comparé à l’enfer.

D’autres filles et femmes ont certainement vécu des choses similaires et peut-être seraient-elles capables de vous comprendre.

Mais quelqu’un qui n’a jamais vécu ce que vous avez vécu est incapable de comprendre ce qui vous est arrivé. En fait, ce qui vous est arrivé ne ressemble à rien de ce que d’autres ont pu traverser.

Il peut y avoir des similarités entre les histoires, mais il n’existe pas deux histoires pareilles.

Et c’est pourquoi, raconter votre propre histoire est d’autant plus douloureux.

C’est pourquoi, votre cœur se brise un peu plus quand les autres disent qu’ils vous comprennent pour finalement vous blâmer d’être restée aussi longtemps.

Ils ne comprennent pas, comment pourraient-ils ? Si l’on ne l’a pas réellement vécu, dans leurs corps et dans leur tête, s’ils n’ont pas découpé votre cœur pour voir ce qu’il renferme ou s’ils n’ont pas percé votre âme pour voir la peur qui s’y cache, ils ne peuvent pas comprendre pourquoi et comment vous êtes restée aussi longtemps.

Vous étiez persuadée d’être aimée, persuadée que vos liens avec votre bourreau constitueraient “ le voyage de votre vie ”.

Qu’avec lui, vous vivriez le grand amour. Il vous disait que vous étiez unique et que vous étiez tout ce qu’il avait toujours cherché. Il vous a promis un amour éternel mais vous n’avez eu droit qu’à l’enfer éternel.

une femme assise sur une pierre

Vous ne saviez pas où vous mettiez les pieds. Vous espériez le meilleur mais avez obtenu le pire. Et ne pensez pas que vous auriez dû être plus maligne ou plus prudente.

Ce n’est pas vrai. Parce que votre cœur et votre esprit n’ont jamais été programmés à repérer un expert du déguisement. Et votre bourreau excellait dans l’art de se déguiser.

Il avait l’air d’un mec bien et aimant. Il faisait tout ce qu’il fallait. Il semblait être trop beau pour être vrai. Il vous a convaincue qu’il serait ce que vous pouviez espérer de mieux et qu’il se souciait réellement de vous.

Et c’était la première étape de son jeu malveillant afin de vous hameçonner. Une fois que vous fûtes toute à lui, il se mit à changer.

Il ne changea pas d’un coup. Il commença à changer petit à petit. Une chose à la fois parce qu’il voulait que vous vous habituiez à la souffrance petit à petit pour qu’une fois son vrai visage découvert, vous ne soyez pas surprise.

Il avait pensé à tout. Son plan était depuis longtemps établi.

Il a fait tout ce qu’il a pu pour vous piéger et vous abreuver de douleur. Il savait que jamais vous ne partiriez, puisque vous n’étiez pas ce genre de personne-là.

Vous n’abandonnez jamais ceux que vous aimez, quelle que soit la quantité de douleur qu’ils vous infligent.

Vous n’abandonnez jamais. Vous êtes de ceux qui se battent jusqu’à leur dernier souffle et c’est exactement sur ça qu’il comptait.

Vous vous êtes demandé pendant si longtemps ce que vous aviez fait de mal. Vos souvenirs se sont rejoués dans votre tête pendant si longtemps, vous demandant comment rectifier le tir.

une femme debout près d'un arbre

Mais il n’y avait rien que vous n’auriez pu faire pour rectifier le tir, puisque son désir était que tout aille mal pour vous.

Le pire, c’est que vous êtes incapable d’oublier. Le pire, c’est que vous avez dû vous battre même après votre départ.

Le pire, c’est que même après en avoir eu fini avec lui, il vous restait de l’amour à son égard.

Il vous a fallu du temps pour vous échapper mais il vous en a fallu encore plus pour accepter ce que vous avez vécu et enfin vous débarrasser de tous ces sentiments qui brûlaient en vous.

Mais même après avoir fui sa toile de toxicité, les sentiments toxiques qu’il avait imprimés en vous demeurèrent plus longtemps que vous ne l’auriez cru.

Vous avez continué à vous excuser de tout, même quand vous saviez que vous n’aviez rien fait de mal.

Vous ne pouviez vous empêcher de penser que tout le mal qui vous arrivait était votre faute, même si plus de la moitié des choses n’avait rien à voir avec vous.

Vous aviez peur de vous exprimer, peur de dévoiler vos sentiments ou de vous engager auprès de qui que ce soit d’autre.

Les sentiments qu’il projetait sur vous alors que vous étiez ensemble restèrent longtemps, même après qu’il en eût terminé avec vous.

Maintenant que tout est fini, vous vous en voulez encore mais je vous promets que rien de ce qui est arrivé n’est votre faute.

une femme déçue s'assoit en buvant du café

Votre bourreau était bien trop sournois pour que vous ne puissiez ne serait-ce que remarquer que quelque chose n’allait pas.

Il n’y a rien que vous n’auriez pu faire différemment. Arrêtez de vous en vouloir. Ce n’est pas votre faute.

Vous devez cesser de vous voir en victime lorsque vous vous regardez dans le miroir. Parce que vous n’êtes pas une victime.

Vous êtes une survivante. Vous avez survécu à l’enfer. Prenez conscience de cela. Souffrez et guérissez.

Bien-sûr, vous êtes brisée maintenant mais ne le sommes-nous pas tous ? Bien-sûr, vous avez peur, mais n’avons-nous pas tous un peu peur?

Rien de tout ça ne signifie que l’aventure se termine maintenant. C’est ici qu’elle commence. Parce que quand on est au fond, on ne peut que remonter.

Alors, cessez de fuir votre passé. Cessez de fuir ce que vous avez vécu. Cessez de museler vos sentiments et de vous tourmenter pour ce que vous avez traversé.

Soyez fière d’être encore debout après l’enfer que vous avez vécu et n’ayez pas honte de vos blessures et de vos cicatrices ; elles sont la preuve de vos combats, la preuve que vous êtes une véritable guerrière.

Il y a de la lumière au bout du tunnel, il vous faut simplement être patiente et elle apparaîtra. Un avenir de lumière vous attend, mais il vous faut cesser d’être immobile et avancer vers celui-ci.

Savez-vous ce qu’un célèbre poète a dit ? “ C’est par nos blessures que la lumière pénètre. ” Vous n’êtes pas brisée, vous êtes pleine de blessures par lesquelles peut entrer la lumière. Rappelez-vous de ceci.

Lettre À La Fille Qui A Survécu Aux Violences D’Un Narcissique

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Tuesday 21st of January 2020

How Carmen went from heartbreaking heroine to feminist icon

Your passing is near, If Destiny has written the word what none shall deny, Murmurs Carmen, May deal 20 seasons, the cards cannot be beaten. They perpetually say: customers die! you've ever seen a performance or even a clip of the opera Carmen, you will likely begin humming the melody of the Habanera or the Toreador aria. It far easier to recall her first scene overtly sexual as she sings of l to the soldiers outside the cigarette factory than it is to think the aria from Act III where the tarot cards predict her brutal death. For opera most suffering femme fatale is killed by Don Jos the man she ruthlessly discards; it's, up to, Until a cultivation in 2018 put the weapon in her hand. The early months of this year are rewriting her character from a fresh perception. From a new synthesis by Barrie Kosky opening this week at London Royal Opera House, To the internationally renowned flamenco dancer Mar Pag bringing her show Yo Carmen to Sadler Wells, Is a character of male invention becoming a feminist icon?

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The mesmerising story about the Spanish gypsy girl has been produced and reproduced thousands of times since Prosper M novella Carmen was published in 1845, And was famously adapted into an opera by George Bizet and his two librettists in 1875. After its 33rd performance Bizet tragically died [url=https://meetspanishwomen.wixsite.com/meetspanishwomen/post/spanish-women-v-s-american-women]cute spanish girls[/url] from illness perhaps the show appalling reviews were the last straw and he never lived to see the show become a perennial success.

View picture of Rosabel Morrison

What is so sustained about Carmen? at first set in 19th Century Seville, The story centres around Don Jos a soldier who has the catastrophe to be seduced by the eponymous gypsy. She is as loveable and hedonistic one moment as she is sardonic and cold blooded following. overall, A tough woman to love; especially when she loses interest and moves on to the attractive bullfighter who new in town. Don Jos eschews her or his job, enhanced comfort of home and his childhood sweetheart Mica to doggedly pursue Carmen until he realises he can never have her and if he can have her, there is no-one to. The opera [url=https://datingspanishwomen.travel.blog/]hot spanish women[/url] ends with Carmen meeting him outside the local bullring and telling him for good she doesn love him; He stabs her and expresses Carmen, My beloved as the blinds close.

View picture of Royal Opera House

Four hundred years of opera is previous misogyny Barry Kosky

undoubtedly, more than, How most of us are familiar with seeing the opera end. In present cards, Carmen made the headlines with a production in Florence that sees her shoot Don Jos with his own pistol as a substitute for face death herself. The producers said that they had changed the ending in response to the number of women who are killed by their partners every year something that known as femminicidio in Italy though as a news story it was quickly from the zeitgeist of the MeToo movement as well.

that's about her Kosky, The director behind the Royal Opera House new manufacture of Carmen, can be sceptical. Don think by saying she kills him and survives really investigates in any serious way or very confusing way the story of the opera.

Don think opera is approximately who kills, Who holds out. There been three hours just before you decide that. Let be costly. Four hundred years of opera is a medical history of misogyny. in actual fact! It dealing with hysterical women, Sick teens.

View image of Royal Opera House

But Kosky has also chosen to end his opera otherwise. Bizet never had a chance to fully orchestrate much of the music he meant for Carmen, And so Kosky and his team did some looking at and orchestrated it themselves. Garden audiences are going to hear in my ballet shoes the very original idea of Bizet, A strange ending where the Carmen motif returns. So it doesn finish with a dead woman and weeping tenor, She comes back. Her music pops up. It in her. information, Carmen gets up after being supposedly stabbed to death and cheekily shrugs at the crowd right before the lights cut and the curtains draw. It similar to Charlie Chaplin A Burlesque on Carmen, Which totally parodies the story we conversant in; Darn pantyhose (Chaplin play on Don Jos stabs Carmen and himself with a fake knife before they both operate and laugh it all off. In this developing, you can find a similar joviality, despite the fact that Carmen shrugs at us from beyond the grave. inconsequential of the life that Kosky gives the opera, We keep in mind that Carmen still loses hers at the hand of a violent former lover.

In a set that evokes the Gatsby more than it does Andalusia, Kosky Carmen is wonderfully gamine and androgynous in 1920s costumes that range from a matador suit to a white shirt and trousers and finally to a big, charcoal, Vampy dress making use of huge train. She a far cry from the customary long-haired, Buxom gypsy Carmen. Kosky says. He bans his Carmens from having their hands on hips and their breasts as magnets. if anything, Carmen uses her voice like a siren to draw men route her. The dialogue that many understand or know in the opera is compressed and replaced by one long narration from a mysterious figure over the tannoy that we assume must be her. Kosky calls it a review that an odd, Erotic sleeping story. He says was extremely important for me that Carmen presented her life to the audience, Or a chapter of her life, Her last chapter accessible a sort of theatrical review. Which means we could be very playful and ironic and we don are the sort of doom laden, Sultry gypsy Carmen on the stage. We can be whole lot more playful, Which I think is suited to the background music. Exoticism ironic that so many of us associate Carmen with southern Spain when it was a story created by a Frenchman and then adapted into an opera by another Frenchman. The sound we assume we are hearing comes from an era where French Romantics were obsessive about the perceived exoticism of Spain, And composers like Bizet and Maurice Ravel delighted in mimicking Hispanic sounds, such as the Phrygian mode. The one exclusion is the Habanera; It now believed that Bizet actually stole this melody from El Arreglito by Spanish composer Sebasti Iradier, Idly assuming that it is a nameless old folk tune.

She an advent. An invented dynamics. Solely for the service of displaying passion, Her agony. It totally assertive Mar Pag

Somebody who overwhelmingly familiar with this stereotyping of Spanish music and Spanish women is internationally renowned flamenco dancer Mar Pag Born in Seville just like the mythical Carmen, Bizet music and story has been a part of her life since she was a young girl. a very foreign look at Andalusian women, states. Think that this has distributed a lot to the stereotypes around the Spanish woman that transcended to flamenco. It influenced what folks have in their head. It not the particular. genuinely Carmen, It a show that entirely about womanhood and attempts to rewrite opera most notorious femme fatale out of the shallow, Misogynistic characterisations of Merim and Bizet fantasies.

An technology. An invented component. Solely for the service of displaying passion, Her woes. It totally macho. Pag bluntly says, Not a character for me. The music is a delicious schooling would include biology Bizet and true, are usually flamenco. This work we are checking out, We interviewing women from different cultures and countries what successful, What does not work. Only with 50 years can I possibly discuss what a woman is. It from life be subjected to. She believes that building up a female character is often too much about artifice; you put onto makeup, earrings, A necklace around your neck. moderately, hey, Carmen rejects this idea of donning a suitable gender role by putting the dancers in costumes the colour unique skin tones, To make nakedness and women as their true, Unadulterated faces. The colour red only appears so that it can go away. It is a colour always placed on Carmen, And so we desired to take this artifice away as well. alternatively, many costumes will contain purple the colour of passion in Japan.

I asked her if she was somehow most notably Don Jos in her piece. Jos didn hobby me at all! She says. First thing I did to relieve artifice was to get rid of him! Yo Carmen is not the story of Carmen of Merim It the reflection and task to try and tell the story of real women, the removal of all the stereotypes that we had all our lives one of them being Carmen. furthermore exciting is that an opera from the 19th Century is continuing to encourage conversation in 2018; Creatives across art forms are looking at both the nuances and perhaps the not developed sides of the Carmen character to tell their own stories.

Violence is a very necessary ingredient of theatre, the particular Greeks Barrie Kosky

But it is crucial and correct to continue probing the original opera misogyny. Carmen fate is decided by the men she chooses and her need to be eternally free costs her her life. This fatality is why the story so deliciously tragic for an audience, But it no activist opera. Other stage productions and adaptations also do not do Kosky service of imbuing the piece with a more feminist approach. When we were reflecting on the Florence opera house new ending and concern of male violence against women, Kosky said people want to investigate this necessary subject matter then write new pieces. It may just be the case that, long time Carmen says a lot, it might not quite say enough.

Let make sure say that violence is a very fundamental ingredient of theatre, within the Greeks. Violence then again is a very fundamental part of our lives, whether positive or negative. And in the safe space in theatrical space, Where anything can happen, We suspend our belief to investigate these things. So I hate to see a whitewashing of the history of Western theatre and not an embracing that this idea of violence is not new. You would like to comment on this story or anything else often seen on BBC Culture, head over to our Facebook page or message us on Twitter.

Joshuadyday

Monday 20th of January 2020

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Friday 17th of January 2020

Woman charged over chaotic fight in Coomera myGC

A 25 year old Beenleigh woman has been arraigned with one count of grievous bodily harm and is due to appear in the Southport Magistrates Court on Monday.

preceding 6:18AM A woman is in a serious scenario after she was assaulted in Coomera on Sunday morning.

The other woman was [url=https://myspace.com/datingmoldovawomen]moldavian girls[/url] located nearby by police and is being questioned.2016 10 30 11:25:502016 10 30 11:26:39UPDATE Woman charged over violent fight in CoomeraMichelle has worked as a broadcast journalist since 1999 and 102.9 Hot Tomato is her 4th radio network. Major stories she covered over the years include the Childers Backpacker Hotel fire and the fatal shooting of police agency Damien Leeding on the Gold Coast. Really enjoy lifestyle type stories that show the world just how interesting we all are. beyond work, Michelle volunteers her time with many local causes including helping out Gold Coast, The Schoolies boost Team and Rosies Street Outreach.

real world it, think it's great! MyGC is a broadband go to for the Gold Coast. with each other our radio station 1029 Hot Tomato, We are in the middle of the GC community. While Hot Tomato is what you perceive on the Coast, MyGC brings the Coast to life with cigarette smoking news, Traffic and weather updates when you need them, event, happenings, instructions, photo, home theatre news and lifestyle content. We're about the best of life we love here, And ghanaians who live it.

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